Too often we wronfully assume that having a sense of humor means WE’RE the funny ones! Pfffff. Not even close.

You don’t have to be the one slinging barbs, jokes, and one-liners. Let others do the heavy lifting. You just need to sit back and let them do it. Be the one who gets the joke and laughs at it (if it’s worthy of laughter).

The point is, allow others a little latitude in how they do they work, how they communicate with each other, and how they blow off steam. Extending to people the right to express their humor is a big part of nurturing your own.

I delivered the keynote address this morning to the fantastic folks at the Virginia SHRM State Conference in Virginia Beach. It was a full, large ballroom of incredibly gracious attendees who warmly gave me their attention and kindly laughed at all the right parts.
One gentleman approached me after and told me how much he agreed with me on the idea of leaders exposing more of their whole persona to their employees, rather than just constantly wearing their “game face.”

He said he served in the Air Force for many years under a certain O-6 colonel that carried himself in a typical, respect-commanding, fear-inducing way.
He said at one point it was discovered that the colonel had cancer and was in the hospital recovering from treatments. The man told me how refreshing it was to see “the Colonel” relaxing in a hospital bed, stripped of his formal attire and just there in jeans. He said it made the leader more accessible, made him seem more like a real person. From then on he had a new appreciation for his Colonel…his respect for him had not weakened, he simply no longer irrationally feared him nor grew unnecessarily nervous in his presence.

When we let others get to know us a little, or employ fun and levity to bring a more familiar mood to work, we allow them to see more of us than just our “boss” look and in turn respect and trust begins to bloom.

1900 Miles in Five Days Makes One Weak

So my attorney brother flies back to Detroit, MI from Las Vegas to buy our dad’s Fatboy. He talks me into flying out and renting an HD to ride back with him. Not a cheap little trip, but boy did it crack open a much needed surge of levity in my life. I LOVED my bike…too bad they’re so friggin expensive. I got home and went around the block on my 79 Yamaha 1100 Special…it felt like a Honda Trail 90 in comparison. Ugh. (no offense to the Honda Trail 90 people)

I just read this beauty from a Facebook posting. A quote from the late Henny Youngman:

“I have all the money I’ll ever need…if I die by 4 o’clock this afternoon.”

It’s true money can’t buy happiness, I know several poor people who manage to be happy and way too many rich folks whose lives blow oatmeal.

Lighten up, be happy and grateful for what you do have (rich or poor). Reach out to others in a spirit of service and life will reward you in one way or another.

It’s just that simple. Sometime, somewhere you will be faced with trials, hardships, inconveniences, tragedies, illnesses, pain, aches, deficiencies, failures, vicissitudes..it is, in fact, inevitable.

It’s part of the human condition, and I don’t care how wonderful you are or you think you are, you are not above any of it.

Your life WILL suck…but you don’t have to.

Accept that truth and recognize that HOW you deal with the suckitude is entirely up to you.

More to come..

I was pleasantly surprised to find that Forbes made a mention of me a few months back. Take a look..you’ll need to scroll down through the article about halfway. It’s good company to be in.

http://www.forbes.com/feeds/prnewswire/2009/05/04/prnewswire200905040943PR_NEWS_USPR_____DC10223.html

By the way the conference was excellent, even with noticeably fewer attendees. Still, the mother ship, the OC Tanner booth, was packed and rocking as myself and two speaking colleagues Andrea Gappmayer and Chris Kendrick rotated live presentations throughout the duration of the conference.

On Wednesday morning I delivered the Levity Effect keynote to about 400 people who chose to stay till the bitter (better?) end.

A woman whose name, title, and company escape me now, told me that levity saved her life. She and her husband had gone vacationing in Europe and out of nowhere she gets sick and falls into a coma. Nice. I don’t remember what she had or exactly how long it took for her to recover, but she did. Fully. She had to stay there in a hospital bed in Europe for months, yikes. (I hope it was Norway or Denmark or someplace with free health care.) Her doctor told her that were it not for her sense of humor she probably wouldn’t have survived.

Wow, what an amazing storyteller I am. That was truly captivating. I asked her to email me the details of the story because I knew I would forget…and look at that. Once again, I was right.

Anyway, SHRM was good.

There is a small lingerie store in a strip mall about a mile from my house. Here is the sign they put out by the busy street it’s on. I can only imagine how many women drivers slam on their brakes and obediently run in and get sized.

This is the "I Want You"-Uncle Sam poster of the new millenium.

I spoke to a group of HR reps from IPMA (public management) in Mobile, Alabama yesterday. (Pretty gulf city, that)

Anyway one of the people there, Sharon Lovoy, after my speech told me a quick story about her Tag Heuer watch. It was her 30th wedding anniversary and her husband ordered this watch for her and apparently (I can’t remember all the details) it came through his work awards program. I think the engravers confused the 30th anniversary meaning because the message on the back read, “30 Years of Service.” (Insert your own filthy, rotten, lurid, disgusting jokes here, you won’t get one from me!)

Well, that’s one way of looking at a marriage, I suppose.

I was in Chicago yesterday speaking at a customer conference for bswift (look em up www.bswift.com). Not only was it a freakin’ gorgeous May day in Chi-town, but the group I spoke to was an absolute delight.

Most of them were HR people, so I always wonder how my message will go over, but to their credit they laughed and cried at all the right places and eased up a little on their HR sensitivities (they didn’t wrinkle their noses or knit their brows if I was a tad edgy).
Patrick McGarrity, a bswift guy, played host and had the audience cracking up with his karaoke rendition of YMCA, supplying his own awkward lyrics cleverly tied to bswift’s business. It was somewhat “geeky” but very funny. The theme of their whole conference was “Fun at Work” a blatantly bold theme to tout in today’s anxious economy. Patrick’s energy, affability, and willingness to be laughe “at” not “with” set the perfect tone for their day.

In these turbulent times, as leaders we should follow suit and look for ways to lighten up a bit, even a little self-effacing humor when appropriate can only help lowered morale.

You remember those “snakes in a can of peanuts” novelty items from years back? They’ve been around forever–the basic premise is you offer some nuts to an unsuspecting victim and when they open the can three tightly sprung, leopard-skin “snakes” leap out, scaring the poor schlub who falls dead of a heart attack. Classic humor.

You can’t find the cans of nuts anymore. Well, maybe you can, but I’m not willing to try very hard. So during one lunch a few days back I went over to the mall and visited Spencer Gifts. The 12-year-old working the counter was eager to prove he knew what I was talking about and gleefully led me to my targeted prize.  With an upcoming “Levity Effect” presentation, I was hopeful to spring my retro-joke on an audience member.  I paid 8 bucks for the smallish can of “Fancy Salted Mixed Nuts” anxiously awaiting the reaction of whatever innocent co-worker I decided would be the guinea pig.

I got to my desk, quietly tore open the packaging and then cheerfully announced, “I brought some mixed nuts from lunch, if anybody wants any, come on over.” A younger, Gen Y type worker responded to the invite and immediately came over and took the can. I braced myself for the explosion of fear, shock, and subsequent howler monkey laughter.  Errr, right. Didn’t happen. Check the video below and see what pops out of the can.

snake-can3

They sure don’t make them like they used to.